Do you know why I love writing? Because it gives you this awesome power to be your own therapist for a while. All of us, bloggers, writers, composers, journal keepers, whatever we write, we write it for ourselves in the first place. We sort out our thoughts. By writing it down and reading it, we get a chance to see what’s going on in our heads from a different perspective.
Not once have I ask myself while writing something, am I actually writing this to help someone or am I writing it for myself? And I believe that those articles, stories, lyrics you write for yourself, are in the end the most helpful stories for others. Why? Because they come from within. They are not just playfully and grammatically correct arranged words, but they have a meaning, they are based on a true experience accompanied by feelings.
My mind often feels like an unreachable madness spinning faster and faster. It seems like it will never stop and my mind will burst. It’s easy to get lost in the unstoppable stream of your own thoughts. But writing all thoughts down, as crazy as they might be, can help to sort out the madness and get a clear picture of what’s going on within your mind, with you and with your life.
January 1st is special for many of us. We often like to set ourselves new goals such as losing weight, training for a marathon, spending more time with family, studying more, finding a new job etc. This Christmas, it’s been for the first time in four or five years I haven’t binged. And I haven’t for some time now. I had a few pieces of Christmas cookies and I enjoyed them as a “normal” person.
For me, it means a huge thing. But I know how wobbly this thing is so I rather won’t say much yet. I am still searching for the way to eat balanced. I’m still searching for the way to workout consistently and efficiently. And I’m still searching for the way to heal my mind and to accept myself.
It’s funny that when I get upset, I think about all the things I haven’t done, haven’t finished (or began) and I feel like I’m stuck at the same spot and I haven’t moved any further. But it’s not true. I have changed so much throughout the past few weeks, months and years. And so did you, even though you might feel like you’re stuck in one place. If you feel like that, instead of writing things you haven’t done yet and would like to do in the future, write down what you have done, what you achieved and what you experienced. You might be surprised.
Let’s make this year (and not just this year) about discovering yourself. Make your health your priority. We often realize how important, vital and non-buyable it is, once we lose it. Make this year about your physical and mental health. Once these two parts of you are in balance, you can reach some pretty amazing things! Put yourself on a journey to discover yourself. Try new sports, meditate, read, travel…find yourself in this crazy wonderful world.
I’ll find myself too. And I’ll take you on this journey with me.
Cheers to the year of 2018. Let it be the best one yet.
Yesterday, I fought as much as I could to resist and not break the cycle. I got dressed up to hit that binge-store-frenzy, then I stopped and realized that’s not what I want. I’m over this, right?! Wrong. So I went back home, changed into my yoga pants and watched some YouTube videos. Then again, it hit me harder than before – You are never going to change. People don’t change. This is who you are and who you’ll be for the rest of your misery life. You will be a loser forever.
Disorders, to be exact. I’ve been through anorexia; now I’m a binge eater combined with bulimic. The last time I binged was yesterday. The last time I purged was two days ago. My throat hurt terribly, and I hated myself afterward. Six plus years of this constant battle.
I’m not good at introducing myself because I think there isn’t anything interesting about me. I constantly think I’m not good enough and I can’t think of any rational reason why anyone would be interested in my being. Now that you know how self-consciousness little creature I am, you may better understand why I created this blog – to learn to love body and to help all of you to love yours.