Disorders, to be exact. I’ve been through anorexia; now I’m a binge eater combined with bulimic. The last time I binged was yesterday. The last time I purged was two days ago. My throat hurt terribly, and I hated myself afterward. Six plus years of this constant battle.
I’m not good at introducing myself because I think there isn’t anything interesting about me. I constantly think I’m not good enough and I can’t think of any rational reason why anyone would be interested in my being. Now that you know how self-consciousness little creature I am, you may better understand why I created this blog – to learn to love body and to help all of you to love yours.
One thing I know is that this place will be honest and raw. Just like us, our beauty, our problems and our twisted relationship to our bodies. Eating disorders aren’t pretty. And most importantly, it’s more than eating or throwing up.
I started this website for two reasons: 1) to help myself, to accept my body and myself and to learn to love my body and myself, 2) to create a place for all girls and boys going through similar things, feeling like the most meaningless broke wreck abandon in this world. Eating disorders are shit, but the cycle can be broken.
This is (hopefully) not going to be
just “a whiny bulimic diary,” but a safe place to share my thoughts about accepting yourself for who you are rather than hating yourself for who you’re not. Writing is a great medicine for our souls. You don’t need to be a great writer to lay your thoughts down on paper. You just have to do it.
I started this blog a year ago (by writing posts in Czech) and I thought that if I stop binging and purging, I’ll get healthy and I will immediately accept and love my body. To my surprise, nothing like that happened. I realized that the whole eating disorder thing, the self-acceptance, and self-love is just as much about your mind as it is about your body. It’s not “just” about how much you weight and how toned your muscles are. The less you weight doesn’t equal, the happier you become. You need to work on your mind mentally as much as you need to work on your body physically.
Thank you for reading this.❤️